Emotional Virtue

Lately Bieber hits the billboards again with his new songs, one of them is titled ‘Sorry’. In the chorus, the song lyric says

Is it too late now to say sorry?
Cause I’m missing more than just your body.

I can imagine this song’s video clip, starring a guy who has done mistakes to his girl, and the girl is avoiding him and not responding to his call. So the guy makes an apology. The girl refuses to forgive him and here comes the lyric as the guy’s thought : is it too late to say sorry. And the next statement make his apology sounds better : “I miss you. Not just your body. But your presence, even though physically you are far away, that completes this empty heart of mine.” This guy and this song lyrics, sounds better than the stigma that guy only want girl’s body. But in fact, it starts to reach the girl’s emotion, by manipulating the girl’s emotion.

Love is often related with the ‘feelings’ that burns the emotion. I am born with quiet flat emotion, I am not the super happy and super expressive girl, neither the anti-social introvert girl. I am just happy. But when I fall in love, the heartbeat graphic that represents my emotion is going up and down with wide range. And when the honeymoon feelings have gone, my life graphic starts being in a straight line again. And if love is just about feelings and emotion, then my love has gone away and my heart becomes broken by the lost of the emotional shake.

Emotions are actually good. It balances us when we are too much or too deep on our fair/unfair and justice/injustice thoughts. It brings mercy, compassionate, anger that stimulate decisions in our life. However emotions can’t recognize truth, it’s our minds with its cognitive ability to grasp truth and reality. Heart and brain work together and balance each other to be able to make good decisions. So never let heart (emotion) only to make decision, because it could be wrong. Likewise, never ‘love’ only by feelings, because it won’t last long. Because emotions come and go.

As in Sarah Swafford’s blog, she defines, emotional virtue is the right ordering of our thoughts, actions and desires as they relate to our relationship. By growing emotional virtue, we break the cycle of using : somebody is here in my life to make me happy, all that need to be satisfied is my happiness and I always have to be in feeling-good mood, so that we can truly love. Remember that love is to will and to desire what best for him or her although I have to be hurt. Love has never been about ‘me’.

So, follow your heart, don’t forget to bring the head with you!