It’s 2016. And I will reach my second quarter of my life this year. I always talked to myself, “It’s time to be serious with your life, Monica.” What I mean with seriousness in my life is by stop being indecisive, start to settle with several big life decisions and start to think seriously about the future. It’s time to really grow up! Unfortunately, these past years, I wasn’t too serious to talk about seriousness to myself. I kept on being little girl who only did what she thinks it’s good to do and what she wants to do.
Relating to what the whole Church is celebrating this 2016, year of mercy, as in my previous post, I would take this occasion to live a pure life, to have a pure motives, have pure mind and be pure in my relationships (to love instead of to use). I have tried to start since October 2015 by assessing my social media post, the way I relate to my friends and redirect my energy to do something fruitful. I will put purity as number one quality I want to have and to build in 2016.
Then, I was truly hit by a short drama (emotional roller-coaster. I always hate roller-coaster but after riding it, I am always awaken.) which I didn’t expect that would come again in my life in the end of 2015. I thought it was a true love drama, but in fact, it’s a drama of using and letting myself being used. After the big drama in 2012, I thought this time would be different, I am truly recovered, I am more stable now and the person I am relating is way far so different. The fact is I am still far from ready to have a relationship. I haven’t been a right person that I could find the right person. So, it’s a big warning sign and gratefully it’s also an invitation for me to seriously make an effort in being a right person. So the next thing I will focus this new year is trying to be a right person in God. Because it’s not about finding the right person, it’s about becoming the right person.
The next thing I would like to highlight this year is about trusting God. I could see my both hands holding God’s hands above and walk with being guided by Him. But I also see my feet are on still rely on the string of certainty and comfort zone that I draw for myself. So, trusting God in all His plan and His ways of molding me, means to delete the string and truly walk on the air and merely depending on the Hands that supporting me from above. I should have a trained muscles also so that my hands won’t be tired of holding Him. I should be spiritually ‘get in shape’. I plan to attend more Adoration and Mass and discipline in my prayer.
And in this 2016, I come to my second confirmation year in my community. Still I would like to stay and to grow in this community. I would like to be more fruitful in this community. I also join in the preparation of Indonesian and Asian Youth Day team, new and exciting project this year.
There are several things that I would like to have and to do in 2016. One of my childhood dreams is to join World Youth Day. I also plan to take a Chinese class in one of the big cities in China, well not sure yet, I still need to ponder this in prayer, I am so much afraid of the uncomfortable I will meet there. About my professional works, I would still stay in current company as long as I am still put in Jakarta. Yes, I have decided to settle in Jakarta.
And, I don’t think this year is the right time to start my entrepreneur business yet. I would like to take time to make my old forgotten dream come true this year : to write a book. I will dedicate more time to read and to write. I am still not sure what kind of book I will write, but let’s see!
Ah, if last year my spiritual theme was Ignatian. This year will be about Deeper in Ignatian. Yes, I still would like to live my spiritual journey with the St. Ignatius guidance and practically by doing daily examen. So, let’s ignite 2016. Don’t waste your time!