Here comes the day when the ground feels like crushed down, when you really forget how happiness is like, when what you feel is only grieve and sorrow. That’s when the hormonal system of a woman loses it’s balance and changes into another phase of the cycle. The serotonin hormone, a feel good neurotransmitter that is produced by brain to make us feel happy and relax, is lowering and what women feel in this period of her cycle is just despair, sadness and low self-worth. Some women might have realized this when these feelings come to her day. And this hormonal mood swing often used as an excuse for being tolerated to be selfish. But to overcome it, has never been easy.
Trying to cope when this happened to me, I stood in front of my bookshelf and said “It’s time for my motivational books.” Positive words might help, I need them! Until I remembered a chapter of an Examen guide book that mentioned that it’s a right Examen to do during bad day. I took my favorite book ‘Reimagining the Ignatian Examen’ by Fr. Mark E. Thiboodeaux, SJ (which is actually has the mobile apps now, but still I love traditional way on pieces of paper) and searched for the Examen titled ‘Gratitude’.
I followed through the Examen guide. It brought me to review hour by hour of my day and to see what has been the most grateful thing I had that day. Though the day was so uncomfortable (like I got annoyed when the yoga instructor told us to bend our body in illogical pose – which is supposed to be a normal yoga exercise), I came to a moment shared with my Mom that night. She waited for me to be home after the dinner hour and prepared the chicken soup with herbal medicine special me who was having period that day. I felt so grateful to have such a sweet and caring Mom. The next thing I felt so grateful about was the mood swing itself. The weakened body and the cramps told me that things are running normally in my body. And I simply thanked God for this gift of womanhood.
To find things to be grateful for and to focus on the things that make me feel loved, helped me that night. It directed my mind and heart to see my blessed day, rather than assuming things or being suspicious to others. And the Examen has helped me to bring back those positive feelings and rebuilt the smile on my face. And thanks to God who worked through the Examen!